A friend and I did some
Christmas shopping this week, during our browsing we both commented that there
are people we have yet to buy for because it is difficult to find something for
them. I tend to worry a lot about this and there has not been a time (apart
from when I was teenager) that someone has complained about their gift. It’s
difficult to apply the adage ‘it’s the thought that counts’ to this situation
as the other person clearly has no idea how much you are thinking (or worrying)
about their gift.
This year I suggest
letting yourself off the hook. You are not responsible for the happiness of
another person – especially through gift giving. Maybe it’s time to ask the
person what they would like or perhaps you can think of a different kind of
gift – spending some time with them doing an activity they love or giving them
something you have made are possibilities, but don’t stress about it. Life is
already stressful enough.
Off the hook can be
defined in a number of ways, I will be using the following;
‘free from obligation or
guilt.’ Collins
Dictionary
‘cool, fresh, happening.’ Urban
Dictionary
It’s up to you to decide
when I use each one.
Each Christmas comes with the
baggage of previous ones. This may mean a rising expectation of excitement and
joy. For others the season increases a sense of loss and grief because a loved
one can no longer be present. It may be a painful time full of memories of
disappointment, hurt, and angry words.
It can be difficult to
know how to manage this melting pot of unspoken thoughts, memories and
feelings. There are a number of options:
- Grit your teeth and bear it – it’s only one (or two, or three…) day(s).
- Wear yourself out trying to guess the wants and desires of everyone else and seeing if you can fulfil them.
- Hold a family meeting, expect everyone to be honest yet thoughtful and discuss how Christmas can float everyone’s boat.
Or aim for an ‘off the
hook’ Christmas!
Allow yourself the gift of
letting things be ok for Christmas rather than perfect. Perfection puts
pressure on everyone, including you. Christmas does not have to be perfect. So,
go with the flow, look for the humour and try something new – who knows what
new memories and traditions may be created along the way.
There may be an
opportunity to let someone else off the hook. Perhaps you received a crap gift
or someone pushed your buttons (so easy to do at Christmas time). Remember all
the thoughts, emotions and expectations Christmas brings up for you? Well, it’s
highly likely this other person has a whole mish-mash of those for themselves.
This Christmas be the bigger person; let them off the hook.
For when it all gets too
much (and even if it doesn’t) plan some ‘me’ time. Go for a walk, listen to
some music, read a book, meditate – whatever helps you relax. Let yourself off
the hook – you do not need to be the social butterfly or domestic goddess of
the season. Give yourself permission to simply be you.
Whatever you do this
festive season, I hope you have an off the hook Christmas!
