Letting go

Letting go is a phrase often used in relation to difficult situations where we need to let go of a relationship or perhaps a person in order to move on. It has struck me recently that perhaps we need to learn the art of letting go in smaller areas or less obvious areas of our lives.

Up until a week ago I had dyed red hair. The decision to cut it all off was in response to a number of pressures I was feeling. About a month ago, after my birthday, I was thinking about the future and the next birthday - a significant one. The pressure to stay young and beautiful is immense. Our society seems to have one answer about how to deal with the changes your body goes through as you age and that is to do all you can to stop it and slow it down. This solution does not touch the heart of the issue; to keep my value and sense of worth regardless of what I look like. Society places a high value on physical beauty even though we are all too aware that this will fade. I decided to go for a drastic hair-cut; grey hairs showing, no locks to hide behind. I don’t know how I will feel about the grey in the weeks and months to come. It is highly likely I will give in to the pressure to cover up in order to be acceptable but I wanted to do something to show the internal letting go of society’s conventions about beauty.

Two people have recently discussed with me Alicia Keys’ decision not to wear make-up in photo-shoots. Many have found her decision ‘brave’, as again the pressure to cover up flaws and enhance our assets is huge. Some have criticised her for being ‘anti-make-up’ but this seemed to be missing her point, as she responds, “I don't want to feel beholden—to have to do it.” (Alicia Keys)

During a fortnight when I have been encouraging teenagers to value themselves and be true to who they are, I have felt challenged to consider what this means for myself. It is so easy to get caught up in the ‘way things are’ without questioning the effects or thinking about if this is truly who I want to be.

Another area that I have felt challenged to ‘let go’ is in my wardrobe. Since leaving work I had got rid of very few ‘work clothes’, telling myself to just ‘see how it goes’. As I have been reading ‘What Matters Most?’ by Brian Draper, I have been reflecting on the things in my life that I give value to, that actually do not have any real significance. I realised that I put some kind of security in the idea of having a variety of clothes. So I’ve had a big clear out freeing up drawers and wardrobe space – and the plan is not to re-stock! I’m trying to build up the courage to tackle shoes!!

As autumn has turned to winter, the natural world is doing the same; the trees are letting go of their leaves in order that something new may come. With the New Year approaching and this being the typical time of change and resolution I wonder if the season of Advent is meant in part to be a season of letting go. This could then allow us to make room for the changes and newness that the New Year will bring.