The significant birthday
has been and gone. A number of people have asked me how I feel about turning
forty. It doesn’t feel the big deal I thought it might. I realise I’m in the
position of having both friends and family that will be thinking ‘Forty! That’s
old.’ and others who will be thinking the opposite. I guess any new decade of
age feels significant to the one entering it. The first two decades of life are
met with excitement and then it seems, especially in our culture, any of the
following decades are to be feared. I guess it is all tied up with regrets or
what a person feels they should have done by the time they hit that particular
decade, but there are all sorts of signs that getting older has its benefits.
I read in the paper today
that People’s most beautiful woman in the world, this year is Julia Roberts
(aged 49, if you’re wondering). Sadly, probably many would respond by saying
that she doesn’t look her age – the greatest compliment someone older can receive
right? We’re so obsessed with aesthetics and looking young, it is no wonder
people try to slow down the aging process.
Aging well is a matter of
attitude. I have the privilege of knowing a number of individuals who are over
seventy and have never-ending energy for the activities they passionate about.
It was an honour to stand with a couple of them recently to support their
vision of connecting with our local community. It is always a mistake to put
people in boxes and age is no different. We colour our own experience and
perception of others when we believe the lies of the media or assume one
teenager or retiree is the same as another.
I noticed, when
watching Bake Off this week, that those who were more vocal about the
discomfort of the heat and the difficulty of making Italian sfogliatelle had
the worst outcomes. We can talk and think ourselves into failure, unhappiness
and fear, so the opposite is also true. Attitudes to growing old can be
changed. It starts with my attitude and what I choose to believe. I want to
check my thoughts and beliefs by making sure I’m part of activities and groups
that encompass different ages, so that my beliefs are fuelled by real
experiences rather than media stereotypes.
I have done a little
reflecting on my last decade. I don’t think I would have believed that I would
be where I am right now, if someone had told me when I turned thirty. A friend
of mine had encouraged me to write a ‘dream page’ of goals to achieve – both
short and long term. I found one I had written about eight years ago. I was
amazed how many of the goals had come to pass. Some, I could remember thinking
at the time seemed impossible, yet they have been fulfilled. For me, that makes
the next decade exciting. I have no idea what might happen in the next ten
years. There is a sense of a new beginning and I want to look forward. I have taken
down my creative wall that I pinned up during the transition from teaching to
writing. I am considering what I will be giving my time to, what will be my new
short and long term goals. I shall be writing a new dream page. The trick with
these is not to let your ‘inner editor’ have their say. It is ‘blue sky
thinking’ – you are not meant to consider potential obstacles but to allow
yourself to dream.
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