Patience is a virtue!

I have been without my car for the last ten days. A problem I thought would be solved by my friendly RAC man proved too complicated for roadside assistance. It has perplexed the mechanics at my garage too. So I was left changing plans stranded at home during the days.

It was not so much the inconvenience of not having a car that rankled but the not knowing when or even if I would have the car again. The not knowing and possible outcomes clouded my thinking. The frustration at having to say ‘No’ to people and feeling out of control of that choice led me to realise how losing control in this area of my life was affecting my well-being. I’m sure there were other factors at work too, there always are – it’s never just one thing that goes wrong.

The day my car was returned was a total surprise. There was no proceeding phone call, just a ring on the doorbell and there was my car back on the driveway. There was a great sense of relief (both my husband and I had thought we might have to find a new car) and a sense of childlike excitement. I was surprised at how fun it was to get back behind the wheel. The pleasure was heightened by putting the roof down and turning the music up! Philosophers would argue that this is one of the benefits of patience; having delayed gratification the enjoyment of the end is that much sweeter. I don’t know that I practised patience particularly well. I didn’t have too much choice in the matter, but the waiting definitely renewed my appreciation for driving in general and my car in particular.

In the middle of the not knowing and the disappointment I began to think about what I had been learning during these months of stillness and waiting. I had been trying to listen less to the negative thoughts that would bring a halt to everything and trying to listen more to the positive. I had reached a self-imposed deadline in my writing, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t more to be done. Being at home meant jobs that otherwise would have been delayed, got done.

This change in pace brought a different kind of thinking and for the first time in a while I had a completely new idea, not related to either of the two books I am currently writing, it  was exciting and refreshing to dream about something new for a while. It had become all to easy to forget some of my early thoughts about giving time for creativity when creating narrative and characters have become daily habits.

Being ‘on pause’ has been a recurring theme of this year. It goes against my natural instincts and common sense. It is not a passive inactivity but more a restful quietness that allows for envisioning and inspired ideas to come to the fore.

This week has taught me that there is always room for more. The creative well is deep. Sometimes obstacles and tedious waiting allows for that space and time for new ideas to grow.