Look a little deeper

The other day I was looking through our bedroom window – this is not a natural place from which to observe as it is directly above the bed and it is only from the bed that you get a good view. It looks out onto our drive and the street. But if you look up and beyond our street there is a flag and beyond that are clouds of green from distant trees. We have lived here for over four years and I don’t think I have ever seen that flag or the trees in the distance before. It got me thinking about what else I miss because I am quick to look but don’t take time to observe.

Aristotle applauded the skill of observation. For him, what we can see, hear, taste, feel & smell are the concrete signs of truth around us. Plato’s view that our changing world could not be trusted because everything is in a state of flux did not make sense to Aristotle. Aristotle believed that it made more sense to trust in what could be observed rather than some imagined ideal state existing beyond our world. I’m not sure I fully agree with either of them but I am learning the benefit of greater observation. It is not just my sight that has been affected. I have changed my eating habits so that for a longer period of time I am fasting in the day. When I break my fast for the day, the experience of taste is heightened. Initially I wanted to wolf down anything and everything and I would waste time thinking about what food I was going to have. I am neither rushing nor being particularly mindful and slow when it comes to eating, but I am aware that there is a greater sense of enjoyment in those first bites. There is a greater sense of appreciation in the variety of food that I could eat. I no longer feel constrained by meals that are typical breakfasts or lunches and there is something very freeing in that.

The old adage ‘seeing is believing’ has been found wanting, but seeing, really looking, takes us closer to understanding which questions need asking. This is true in science. Observation leads to hypothesis leads to asking the right questions and experimenting to discover the answers. I wonder what questions and answers I have missed because I failed to really look. People are communicating with us all the time, sometimes it’s with their words but most of the time they are relying on us to look, to really see what needs asking rather than relying on the trite clichéd questions that often fall out of our mouths.

During the Easter weekend I spent some time flicking through the Guardian’s magazine series ‘Do Something’. One of the activities that jumped out at me was street photography. I thought that this would be a great way to put my desire for greater observation into focus! I decided that I would take photos of the same part of our high street at regular intervals in the day and observe the changes that occurred.

It was daunting holding up a camera to capture people in my chosen scene. No one asked what I was doing, and as the day progressed I felt more confident in my role as photographer, capturing moments, looking for the details.

We all have the ability to make discoveries through observation. They might not be world-changing scientific ones, but they might be ones that change our world and the people around us. Taking notice has increased my sense of wonder and appreciation.

Leisure

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies

Be More Teen

‘Good habits formed at youth make all the difference.’ Aristotle

Teenagers get a bad press: selfish, loud, moody, aggressive, messy, irresponsible - the list could go on. The reality is more complex than this. Teenagers often express total contradictions: intense and playful, sensitive and thoughtless, dreamers and doers. Interestingly, many of these attributes are essential for creativity.

Over the last few weeks, for various reasons, I have been thinking back to my school days and teenage years. This has not always been a pleasant exercise – school was not my favourite place to be. I can remember making myself sick in order to stay at home. I experienced bullying at both primary and secondary school. The walk down memory lane was not a journey for re-living these experiences. I was looking for my best moments, the times when I felt truly alive.

‘Adolescence is a new birth, for the higher and more completely human traits are now born.’ 

G. Stanley Hall.

 As adults, if we think about reliving our teenager years it is associated with bad taste. Whether it’s clothes or hairstyles, buying the fast car we dreamed of owning or attending an event where some tribute band are playing the tunes you rocked out to, there is the memory of freedom perhaps even rebellion.

I’ve been searching for the lost and forgotten dreams. The activities that made me feel free. These teenager years are often referred to as our formative ones because they are so crucial to creating the person we are today. When I look back there are definitely passions or capabilities that I have forgotten. These have been overlooked or discarded because the responsibilities of adulthood have taken over.

A simple example that I rediscovered recently was the joy of being on a swing. I was in someone else’s garden and there at the bottom was a huge tree, from it dangled a swing. The sun was out and the garden was bathed in spring-time glory but more than the comfy looking bench, the walk through a woodland area or the beauty of the flowers themselves, it was the swing that called out to me. Tentatively, I asked permission to sit and swing. (I had thought perhaps it was just for children). I was greeted with surprise and then a smile ‘Of course you can use the swing!’ So I indulged, gently at first and then with greater abandon. My eyes took in the garden from an entirely new view-point and then I closed them, enjoying the tingle of not knowing exactly where I was going.

I have taken some time to think back, to make a list and consider what was and what has been lost. Some of what I have rediscovered has affirmed my current choices. Others have been surprises and encouragements to try forgotten activities and reclaim passions that have been dormant.

As I look back, time and friendships appear to be different. Now, I make appointments to meet up with friends and usually they involve some kind of plan; dinner, drinks, cinema etc. Then, everything seemed more fluid (this may be poor remembering on my part) but there were definitely times of just ‘hanging out’ no plans, no agenda except to spend time with my friend. Sometimes the best times were those unplanned ones.

Time is a gift. It is up to us to decide what we will do with it. This is easier said than done and even with all my ‘flexible’ time, I am still learning about time management. Prioritising the important is my new habit. I now block out periods of time in advance so that they can be devoted to something I do not feel I have enough time for. I physically do it in my diary and I am finding it works. My husband and I have done the same for time together too. Nothing is to infringe on that time without permission from the other. There is no agenda for these times together and I think that is part of what makes them really special.

‘It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.’ E. E. Cummings

What passion or skill has been dormant since your teenage years?

How could ‘hanging out’ with no agenda benefit your relationships?

What activity would you like to try to recapture that feeling of youthful freedom?

P.S. The novel is progressing (slowly) and I will shortly be introducing you to my new blog project, so watch this space.....