Something to Celebrate

Today is the first anniversary of this blog, which means it also a year since leaving teaching and starting writing. This blog started out as an exploration of what it means to live the good life. I don’t think it has veered too much off course, but I have been surprised by how it has reflected my own inner-life, rather than pure reflections on philosophical ideas and psychology.

This whole process has been a cycle of starting new things, learning new skills and then starting over again. Writing, reading, editing and making amendments feels very much like taking one step forwards and then two steps back. I am reminded of an earlier post when I wrote about how the first steps of a child are celebrated. * Often those first faltering steps are followed by stumbles and a fall. This year I have taken my first proper steps into writing. There have been moments of delight in sensing that I am making progress and moving forwards but there have been times of stumbles and falls. I am learning to pick myself up again and to use the steps taken as motivation to keep going.

A number of people have asked me how I can be self-motivated and keep on writing. I feel the expectation to say something wise and profound. The truth is I am finding it much like someone describes eating an elephant – manageable one bite at a time! Sometimes I am fed up of eating elephant and sometimes I am overwhelmed by the size of it. I recognise though that this time is a gift. I do not want to look back at my life and wonder ‘what if’ so I find things that enable me to keep going. One of them seems an unlikely motivator, but it works for me. There is a post-it on my desk that simply says ‘It’s always too soon to quit.’ I do not know what the outcome of all this writing will be, that is something that is out of my control but my response to whether I write is within my control – so it’s always too soon to quit!

This anniversary is an opportunity to look back, to reflect upon the highs and lows, the mistakes and lessons learned. It is also a chance to look forward, to set new goals and ideas into motion. Here in the present, is an opportunity to celebrate and be grateful.

I am grateful for this amazing gift of time and space to write. I owe this to the generosity and unwavering support of my husband, who was and still is willing to support me in giving up a paid full-time job to embark upon this writing adventure. I am grateful to you, the readers. Thank you for travelling this journey with me. For those of you who have commented, whether it is on the posts or in real life, I really appreciate you getting involved! Thank you to those who have spoken words of encouragement and belief in me – you are worth more than a million post-its! Thank you to my giraffe-otter friend – your proof-reading skills, advice and encouragement are priceless.

Although there is no call (yet) from the publisher, tonight we will celebrate. We have so much to be thankful for. And the little steps are worth celebrating just as much as the big ones. 

What small steps could you celebrate at the moment?

What helps you stay motivated?

What are you thankful for today?

*Elementary, my dear Watson

Dear Diary

When I was at secondary school my best friend kept a diary. There were times she shared parts of it with me. I felt honoured but I was also a little envious. Envious that she had the self-discipline to write everyday and that she felt free enough to share her thoughts on the pages. I have tried to keep a diary a number of times but I never found it easy to write something everyday and somehow it was disappointing not to be consistent.

There are famous diaries, ones to be read and that it is another thing I find daunting about it – either it is honest and an outpouring (my favoured approach) or it has to be written in a way that it can be read and is therefore censored. These were the only two approaches in my young mind.

As I embarked upon my year of writing, I read a lot of advice about writing everyday and I guess the obvious way of doing this, if you don’t have a writing project on the go, is to write a diary.

My diary writing has not taken the form of recording the events of the day but instead has become a record of books and articles I have read and my response to these. I’ve also made notes of observations, ideas and some reflections. Occasionally there is a more emotional outpouring which has proven to be rather cathartic but there is no sense that I have a record of my days for the last year.

Holidays have become times for keeping a diary. We’ve found it a fun way to remember activities we have enjoyed and the people we have met. Sometimes it has been a shared activity. This then is a diary for jogging the memory not for recording emotions and feelings. The entries have been read again, causing laughter and memories of things unwritten.

I used to think that a diary needed to be a prose account of the day. I would be nervous about starting new writing book, scared that I would mess it up. This year I forced myself to choose from beautiful notebooks I had been given and just begin.

It is a recommended practice in helping achieve wellbeing. It gives the opportunity to vent and address problems. It provides a record, allowing you to win arguments concerning forgetfulness! Life is so often busy and frantic that having a time and a place to stop and reflect is precious.

I have found it helpful to ignore what I perceive to be the rules of writing a diary and have enjoyed the freedom this has given me. I have discovered the freedom to doodle, add quotations, write thoughts that are not complete sentences and pour out occasional streams of emotion.

I would thoroughly recommend keeping a diary and doing it your way. You don’t have to wait for the New Year, just find yourself a book and a pen and begin!

 

I started keeping a diary in third grade and, in solidarity with Anne Frank, gave it a name and made it my confidante. To this day, I feel comforted and relieved of loneliness, no matter how foreign my surroundings, if I have a pad and a pen with which to record my experiences. Ariel Levy

The Present: A Gift to Yourself

Holidays are a great opportunity to slow down, to take some time out. It is a chance to try new things and visit new places.

Once at our holiday destination no transport was used. Walking is a great way to slow down and take notice of ordinary life going on around you. Thanks to an app, we discovered that we walked on average about 6km a day. This is far more walking than I would do at home. At first my legs did not like the change, but after a few days the aches were gone and I was enjoying navigating my way around the ancient and modern parts of Edinburgh. I have promised myself that walking is going to be more of a habit now we are home. The distances have not been so significant, but choosing to walk is slowly becoming more of a habit. It has made me more aware of the environment I am travelling in and given me a greater appreciation of my feet and legs!!

Walking is a great way of people-watching in a city and listening into conversation. For fun I decided to listen out for snatches of conversation and record them. The process of slowing down, of listening out and looking around inspires creativity. It increases an awareness of others which in turn develops empathy and compassion.

The choice to be more aware of the present moment is available at any time. It is not just for holidays. Taking a moment to stop and use a different sense is relaxing. Somehow it brings both focus and a sense of appreciation for the more ordinary things in life. It doesn’t require a great deal of time, but choosing to be present, to observe, listen, smell, touch or taste can change our perspective. Moments can be savoured or pass us by. Our choices and attitude determine which will happen more often. If you’re asking yourself when? The answer is now. Stop and be still, just for a moment. What can you hear, see, feel, smell or even taste that makes you glad to be alive right now?

Just for fun, I decided to compile the sentences that I recorded when I was out listening on the streets of Edinburgh. They appear in their sentences exactly how I heard them, but each new line represents a different snippet of conversation. I have imagined a conversation between two people:

You’re looking very fit

What did you do with your bag?

I forget. I don’t know.

It’s got your name on it you prick

Do you want to walk up through the graveyard?

I just don’t want to be seen in public with you

What’s wrong?

I used the baked bean tin with the string to murder someone

Ooh dear

It’s Keith. No one’s going to run me over

I’m sure we can figure it out

A lot of girls do

She swore after the first one that she wouldn’t do it again, but she did

We were talking about strangers

I’ve never asked you what your PHD project is about

I’m only here for three days

Perfect

It’s eight o’clock

I can recommend a show

He doesn’t think he’ll make it through the show without a beer

They’ve been on the road for two months now

Anything interesting happen?

Mushrooms, ham, olives

She knows

Jealous? I just can’t feel like that.

I heard her say that.

She’s got about four GCSE’s

Why is she paid so much?

I agree, it looks bad

We’ll start a revolution.

Full face masks

Oh, is that how it works?

I’m not allowed to tell you why that will be important later

That was amazing

You’ve got to get your timing right