This week I have had to say goodbye to some special friends.
We’ve known each other for over 10 years and they are off to start an exciting
adventure on the other side of the world. One of the things that they have
endeavoured to do well before they leave is to say goodbye. What I mean by this
is that they have taken the time to meet with those who are important to them
and share in the act of saying goodbye – they have shared their hearts and
honoured their friends. In so doing they have called out the characteristics of
individuals and memories shared that have brought joy to them which honours the
person and the relationship. It has made me reflect on how I would want to be
seen, how I want to be remembered by those who know me.
Having read an article this morning about the atrocities
going on in Aleppo I was challenged
to think about my own integrity. Christians are being tortured, raped and
killed simply because they will not reject the beliefs they hold dear. They
continue to stand for what they believe in despite the cruelty threatened and
waged against them. It makes for uncomfortable reading; I am helpless to act on
their behalf and the situation they find themselves in is so alien to me and
yet I am challenged to think of my own standing. Does my life reflect the
beliefs that are precious to me? Even in the last few days, I was asked a
question that I didn’t want to answer for fear of having an awkward
conversation or being rejected. Inside I am kicking myself – the fears are unfounded
and I lost an opportunity to represent myself fully.
There is no Greek word for integrity, but this does not mean
that the concept had no relevance to the Ancient philosophers. Aristotle emphasises
the importance of consistency is a person’s character and actions. If this is
all integrity is I’m not sure I fully subscribe to this definition. Some people
have argued that by this kind of definition you can have a sociopath with
integrity – one that is true to their sociopathic nature. When we call for more
transparency in politics and long for our politicians to show integrity, I
don’t think we are hoping that if they are liars they will be more consistent
in their lying, we attach a measure of morality and virtue to integrity.
An online dictionary defines integrity in the following two
ways:
1. The quality of being honest and having strong moral
principles.
2. The state of being whole and undivided
I really like this second definition, for me it suggests
that integrity starts from within. If I am at war with myself then I will not
be able to be honest or virtuous externally. It is fear that prevents me from
being true to myself; fear of rejection. When I lack integrity, I am diminished
in some way and therefore I am not flourishing.
Much of what is gained through integrity; trust, inner
peace, serving as a role model are all things that Aristotle extols as virtues
in and of themselves. Perhaps then, integrity is a by-product of living the
good life.
What do you think it means to have integrity?
How important is it to be a person of integrity?
How do you think integrity can be developed?
Hi, again, Suzi. You don't mind that I'm responding to all your blogs so far, right? Integrity is the highest ground, the most important and most valuable of all the qualities that can be attributed to a person. The most beautiful people that ever lived are the people who have integrity.
ReplyDeleteYears ago, I had a conversation with myself that I wasn’t able to finish, and it was about integrity. I left the question hanging because it was so difficult to answer; the question was: “what do you stand for?” When you have a public life, or you are in a position of authority, integrity matters even more.
In public, people see what you do and people hear what you say, and what you do and say can affect people. Integrity therefore depends not only on your own standards of behaviour and speech, but also on the perception others have of you and to that extent, can you really be the final arbiter of your own integrity? Integrity is continuously tested by and subject to the influence and impact of events and other people’s opinions.
When I look for examples of integrity, I think of the Christian martyrs, like St Alban and St Thomas More, or I think of Edith Cavell and the people who defend their families and values, and who seek justice. Integrity is the simple, certain knowledge that you do right. Integrity is harder with the proliferation of different interests and interpretations of events. Politicians now probably do not have less integrity than politicians in the past, but they are subject to so much more scrutiny.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edith_Cavell
Integrity requires that you hold firm in the face of the impact of events and experience and other people. But where is the line between having integrity and simply being obstinate or having a misguided conviction? And where is the line between integrity and plain rebelliousness? In the end, I think integrity does not require any particular action or expression or way of being or living. If you have it, it will show itself when the time comes.
http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/poetry/max-ehrmann.html
All you have to do, or say, is what you think is right when the situation calls for the right thing to be done and to be said. I imagine that you just know, in the moment, and you don’t give up, even when the firing squad arrives, and you rest in peace rather than live in shame.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Germans_who_resisted_Nazism