Trying is not Failing

Making New Year’s resolutions appears to have gone out of fashion – people tried it and it was too hard. However, change (and for the better) seems to be on everyone’s agenda. So many were looking forward to saying ‘goodbye’ to 2016 and are looking for positive ways to tackle 2017. There has been a great emphasis on authenticity and transparency. The recent trend of no makeup selfies seems to be a visual demonstration of this desire for authenticity. At the beginning of the year Susanna Reid, followed this trend and posted comparison selfies on Instagram at the beginning of the year. In one she is ‘TV ready’ with full makeup and in the other she is ‘Susanna in real life’ – no makeup. She then wished people a ‘Happy Being You Year’.

What does the real you look like? I don’t really mean without physical makeup. The truth is that we all put on a non-physical kind of make-up to portray who we wish to be, or who we perceive others think we should be. This may affect how we look, but it has an even greater internal impact. For me it is about which voices I choose to listen to. There are so many voices vying for my attention. If I listen to the voices of the past I am paralysed in the present and if I focus on the future it is hard to move forwards.

There is a constant internal battle going on which questions my ability to make progress. This didn’t start when I started writing; it’s been going on for years and in different areas of my life. Everyday, and definitely more than once, I have to talk to myself to keep going in a positive direction. Sometimes it is exhausting.

About six months ago I started creating an inspiration wall in the room I now write in. On the wall I put up pictures, quotations, anything that would encourage me to keep going rather than give up. My New Year’s resolution started in September and I am not giving up. I am going to continue to cultivate that positive voice.  

This Christmas was difficult. It felt like I ran into a number of ‘old voices’ some that I thought I could easily ‘shout’ over, but it turns out words still hurt. I feel mentally as though as I have had flu; drained and washed out. I am over the worst but it is a struggle to keep going, I am lacking the energy and inclination to do so.

What holds us back from keeping our resolutions? Probably a number of things:

• The reward to complete it is not as great as the current situation
• Lack of self-belief
• The wrong voice talking more loudly or more frequently
• The wrong voice was what started this – it is the wrong goal
• The trigger to get started is missing

And when it goes wrong, we assume THIS IS FAILURE. It is not. We can be our own worst critics. One of the things I have started to tell myself is, ‘trying is not failing’. New Years are annual – obviously, but resolutions don’t have to be. Everyday begins anew, a fresh start, a chance to try again

One of my favourite quotations on my inspiration wall is: ‘Put your big girl panties on, cowboy up and get the job done. No one else will do it for you.’ I’m not quite sure why, but when I read it I smile, it cuts through the crap going round and round in my head and I get to start again.

What are your New Year resolutions?

What ways have you found to silence the voices?

What encourages or inspires you to keep going?